To K_______, on her 14th birthday

K_____,

It's been quite a while since I held you as a baby and you peed on my skirt...Hahaha!

It's amazing how, in a matter of a decade or so, that a little pink chunk of a girl could grow into a blossoming young woman.

I've been so caught up with work that it took me a while to realize that today is your birthday. I know and you know I can't be there to celebrate with you, but to make up for it I'll be writing you your first honest-to-goodness letter from me.

The reason why I'm writing is that, first, I want to tell you that I am very happy that you have reached this far in years in the best of health. That, and count the fact that you've been blessed with parents who are very understanding and considerate of you. Second, I'll be offering you bits of (unsolicited) advice. You might not be asking for these now, but sooner or later, you might be using them. You never can tell.

It's not easy being a woman. It never is. I'm sure you've begun to lament the fact that your periods bother you with cramps and discomforts. I'm sure too that you've begun to argue with Mom or Dad why you can't do this or that, and that you've discovered that society and religion have placed limits on what you can do, basically because you are a female.

I'm not going to bug you with details but here are some things that might help you out as you grow from a teen to a young woman.

1. Reality bites. Being a girl can be frustrating because of the things society thinks you shouldn't do. But don't think men and boys have it all, either.

2. I know it can be hard, but ideally you should shelve the idea of getting into a relationship at your age. Concentrate on school. Get into a reputable university/college. In the future you will be glad you did.

3. If you want people to take you seriously and not treat you like a kid, act and think maturely. Think millions of times before making major decisions. Ask your parents, teachers, and other responsible adults for advice.

4. Wear make-up only if you have to. Sunblock is enough for a casual trip to the supermarket.

5. Be wary of boys but don't think that ALL of them are monsters.

6. Be kind to those people who are not as gifted as we (ahem,ahem) are.

7. Contrary to what most people say, singlehood can be happy, so don't be afraid to grow up and grow old single, if that's your destiny.

8. Remember that you cannot please everybody and that there will always be people who will criticize you. Learn to take things positively. There's nothing better than a sunny disposition and a healthy attitude to silence even the most cruel of critics.

9. Be hardworking. Learn new things. Give sunshine to others through acts of kindness big or small.

10.Give your parents some slack. They're having a hard time adjusting to the NEW you who will soon be a grown up. Be respectful to them, and if ever you will have disagreements, be calm. You will likely avoid fights because you kept them from losing their temper just by keeping yours.


Happy Birthday, kid.